Something just happened. It’s not the first time. It just raised its head and I just hope I’ve done the right thing.

At the start of lockdown, my assumption was that many would have bigger fish to fry, that time would be less of an issue. After all, no commuting, fewer interruptions and, of course, many would end up on furlough. I settled in to a swathe of #GreenBehaviour, creating new products that I had originally planned to do later in the year.

To my surprise, three people, a sales director, a marketing director and a HR director (sounds like the start of a bad joke), who had approached me many months before - and who had disappeared without a trace - came out of the woodwork. Each believed that now was the best time to think about dealing with their organisations’ challenges with time. Now, I didn’t expect that!

The marketing director was concerned that their people’s diaries were becoming toxic and they wanted some short video-based interventions to help. They fell at the first hurdle. Despite it costing only £10 per head…

No one is spending money right now, so on second thoughts…

Their diaries can’t be that toxic then, I thought.

The sales director asked for a Diary Detox Discovery. The story it told them was very common; that as you proceed through an organisation, the higher you go, the further away from the ideal mix of Green, Amber and Red behaviour you get. Their response was far more common, and completely understandable given the COVID-19 crisis…

This WILL add value but we’ll come back to you when lockdown eases and we have a better handle on budgets.

Then there was the HR director. Okay, this is where it gets hairy. Their challenge was around their people being able to take on the “million and one” things that will arise within an HR department following lockdown AND making sure that everyone is 100% focussed on the right things, strategically.

Bingo! This organisation is right in the middle of the sweet spot when it comes to where I can add value.

But, as things progressed, something didn’t feel right.

Despite the conversations being very positive indeed, each email response took a week (or more) to come back. It’s not uncommon, after all, I’m often talking with people whose main challenge is with time. But this was different. They were extremely apologetic but the time between emails was growing.

Having responded to a request as to how we could best proceed, everything went quiet. One week passed. I followed-up to see if everything was okay. Two weeks passed and then I asked if things had changed, whether their need had disappeared.

I had a funny feeling I knew what was coming next. And then it arrived…

I’m really sorry, but life is just too hectic for me at the moment to even get close to reviewing next steps on this. Let’s park for now and I’ll come back to you when things feel a bit quieter. Look forward to catching up again in a few months’ time.

Classic! You haven’t got time to deal with your problem with time.

I’m not sure why I was so surprised. After all, before one of my major clients became a client, they did something very similar. Back then I respected their decision and surmised that things weren’t as bad as they had originally thought. They were!

A couple of months later, having reached the end of their tether, they reappeared, this time in a much worse position and ready to do whatever it took.

Some weeks later, having helped them deal with what was really going on, I asked what had happened when they went off the radar.

I was struggling and I had a very simple choice; deal with the knowns that were sitting in my inbox and keep my head above water, or open the door to an unknown, and add something else to my plate and potentially drown. I chose the devil I knew.

Of course! When you’re under stress (and constantly running out of time most definitely qualifies as stress) your ability to reason is impaired. In fact, you are more likely to opt for ‘no action’ than ‘some action’. This is what happened to my client and this COULD be what is happening to the HR director.

I hated that my client was left to stew on their own. It goes against everything that I stand for, to see someone struggling and just leave them to it. I swore that I wouldn’t allow that to happen again. So here’s what I did.

I sent a message to the HR director:

Let’s not worry about next steps. It sounds like your biggest challenge is right now.

If you would like a short call to help give you some perspective (no sales) then it’s yours; day or night, evening or weekend. There is time there, you just can’t see it at the moment.

If I don’t hear from you before, we’ll speak in a few months.

I decided to thrown them a life-line. No pressure.

Why?

I had attended a webinar earlier in the week where a friend of mine, Jeremy Moore, was talking about leadership. It was called “Leadership, an unhealthy addiction”. He was drawing parallels with the behaviour of addicts where, despite knowing that something is good for them, they still choose the opposite. It obviously went to work on me.

While talking to another friend, Rachel Savage, my work-wife and the genius who helped me to create Diary Detox’s brand story, she said, “When people say those things they sound like an addict”. That was it! That’s exactly what an addict would say, “I know it’s bad for me but just one more week of trying to get on top of it and I’ll sort it out, I promise”.

It was time for an intervention.

If this sounds like you, then it’s likely the reason you have no time to do the right thing is because you’re too busy doing the wrong thing. Time is there. You just can’t see it right now. That’s what stress does.

Here’s the really worrying part. For people like the HR director and my client. They’re responsible for many other people. If they keel over then it’s not just them who suffers, it those in their charge too. The effect is magnified, many times over. That’s why we are told to put our own oxygen mask on before helping others. It’s not about being selfish, it’s about ensuring we survive to take care of those around us.

The more I think about it, I wonder if I was too quick to judge the other two directors. Were they, in fact, doing exactly the same, only using different words?

So, here’s my offer, to you…

If you know someone who responsible for many others (an HR director, a CEO, a divisional head, etc.) who is so busy putting everyone else’s oxygen mask on, they’ve forgotten to put on their own, offer them an intervention:

1. Click the three dots in the top right corner of the LinkedIn post that brought you here and select ‘Send in a private message) (mobile) or Click the ‘send’ button at the bottom of the post (desktop)

2. Type their name.

3. Add a message, “I think this is you.”

4. Press the aeroplane to send it.

If you are reading this because you got one of these messages, or because you were told to read this, then get in touch.

I’ll help you put your mask on and give you a chance to just talk for 30 mins. After that, you’ll either know that I can help you, or you’ll know that I can’t.

But at least you’ll have 30 mins to just breathe.

Just use the ‘Contact’ link at the top of the page.